Self Doubt

Many live their lives in complete obscurity;
hiding whatever they think and feel;
mostly it’s due to their rampant insecurity;
feeling like that storied fifth-wheel.

Their opinions, to others, may seem unique;
so others, usually, pay them no heed;
others; not troubling themselves to critique;
refusing to even see the need.

When family holds your thoughts in contempt;
your thoughts become a field of drought;
your opinions; irrelevant; your thoughts; exempt;
you find yourself dwelling in self doubt.

I asked my brother, about a poem I’d written;
he told me my writing was a crutch;
my mother’s thoughts on what I’d typewritten;
sumarized in two words: “Not much!”

I’m languishing in total defeat and despair;
only strangers give encouragement;
many that I love; show they don’t care;
I’m drowning in discouragement.

I had set for myself an impossible goal;
expressing God’s love in poetry.
thoughts that come from deep in my soul;
God’s love; as written by me.

I am writing under a name; not my own;
to others; who in self doubt, live;
I feel lost, estranged; and far from home;
only God gives me power to forgive.

Monty 8/23/24. # 2,290